My first love was Mark David Chotiner.
I was 19 years old when I found my lips intertwined with his on the night we met.
First year of college.
Cal State Fullerton.
I was at my brother’s fraternity, the Phi Sig house, being dumped by Jon, a guy I dated for 2 months. After we had agreed to remain friends, which surprisingly came true, I met my friend Nikki on the sidewalk...
What happened?
He dumped me.
Are you ok?
Yeah. I guess.
What do you want to do now?
Hum….I looked over at the Lambda Chi house… lets go over there, I heard those guys were cool!
Nikki and I walked over and invited ourselves in. Mark was the first person I met. God he was gorgeous. He looked like Brad Pitt.
After a few beers, Mark said to me…
After a few beers, Mark said to me…
You want to see my turtle?
We headed up to his room and he showed me his fish tank with the water turtle. As the night progressed and Lucky Lagers were pounded (that eventually became our favorite beer because of the silly riddles on the inside of the caps), I found myself totally making out with this hot guy with cute surfer hair and super yummy lips who’s name was MARK! He was such a good kisser. It was all pretty innocent.
Later that night, my best friend Steph picked me up. As I climbed into Steph's car, Mark stood there shirtless with the garage door open, one arm up holding onto the edge of the door. His surfer body, six pack abs and loose fitting jeans made Steph and I melt! She wrote something on a napkin, handed it to him and then we drove away.
If you want to have a good time, call my friend Theresa. She thinks you’re cute. 714-637-….
Seven painstaking days went buy until he called. This was before the days of texting, so I had to actually wait for my land line to ring.
What started out as a random rebound make-out session at the Lambda Chi house turned into a beautiful romance that changed my life forever. I guess that’s what happens when cupid’s arrow hits the bull's eye.
We were both students in the Theatre Department. I was majoring in Musical Theatre and he was Set Design. We were that stereotypical, ridiculously cute/nasuauting couple on campus who could not keep their hands off of each other. People hated and loved us for our sugary, sickening public displays of affection. Needless to say, we were in love and the entire Theatre Department knew it.
Almost every day after our morning classes, we would meet on the Performing Arts lawn at Cal State Fullterton, but it wasn’t just any old meeting. I’d come running out of the PA building, while he was barreling out of the Arts building across the way, and we’d run to each other with open arms screaming “Baber!!!!!” He’d sweep me off my feet and twirl me around and shower me with kisses. This happened pretty much every day for about a year. I was 19, he was 24, we were both acting like children and it was wonderful.
Not too many people can say that they have experienced that kind of love. I'm glad I did at that young age. I'm not the same person anymore and if someone wanted to act like that with me now, I'd probably tell them to grow up.
Not too many people can say that they have experienced that kind of love. I'm glad I did at that young age. I'm not the same person anymore and if someone wanted to act like that with me now, I'd probably tell them to grow up.
Mark was my first real boyfriend and my first love.
I am one of the lucky ones who get to cherish the night I lost my virginity.
The nuns in Catholic School tried to intimidate us into believing that it's a terrible sin to have sex before marriage, but I wasn't convinced. The 12 year old Theresa said to herself, "Nah, I'm going to wait till I'm in love and I think God will be fine with that."
I truly did wait and it was worth it.
It was March 24th, 1993 at lifeguard station 19 in Huntington Beach. We built a bon fire, made s’mores, drank our Lucky Lager and played Black Crows on our portable stereo, snuggled under the blankets and made love. He actually cried.
Mark and I had so much fun together. Camping in Mexico, Havasu, and Big Sur; going to museums and theatre; parties and hanging out on campus; holidays and birthdays; day dreaming of our wedding and naming our future children (Ashton and Clayton. Geeze we were such hippies!!)
After he graduated from college, he moved to Los Angeles and started pursing set building for commercials. I was still a student juggling 20 units, shows and a job.
I was furious when Mark broke up with me. He wept like a baby and told me that I’m too busy for him and gave me the ridiculous “If you love someone, set them free” speech. My argument was that he needed to suck it up and let me be busy for a while and that I’m not asking to be set free. I reminded him that this is the same reason why he broke up with me last time and that he needs to let me have some personal space to do the things I am passionate about, much like how I’ve given him his personal time to do his hobbies. Regardless, he broke up with me, again, and I walked away completely pissed off. I loved him, but we had some serious problems: his infidelity, possessiveness and jealousy, and my independence, stubbornness and free spirited life.
Our love for each other would not be enough to make the relationship last. I moved on, with a sad heart, but nevertheless, I was able to let him go.
Our love for each other would not be enough to make the relationship last. I moved on, with a sad heart, but nevertheless, I was able to let him go.
Six months went by with no communication.
Then one night, as I was in rehearsals for the musical Hair in the Theatre Department, I saw Mark walk by the doorway of the rehearsal room. He backed up, reappeared and waved at me. I thought “What is he doing on campus?” I lost my breath. It was as if I saw a ghost and I wanted to burst out crying. The beautiful memories of our time together came flooding back and my heart was so confused. I was filled with a longing to be with Mark again, yet logically I knew it’d never work. How will I ever be able to shake him? My friend sitting next to me grabbed my hand and said “Oh my God! Mark!” I sat there stunned. Later that night he called me at 3am, obviously drunk.
Hey…. Whats up?...
I was so annoyed that he woke me up so late and that he was the typical ex-boyfriend drunk dialing me. That's no way to win me back.
What do you mean “WHAT'S UP????”
I was such a bitch to him.
What are you doing?
I’m SLEEPING Mark… it’s 3am, I’m in rehearsals and studying for finals…GET A LIFE!
Then I hung up.
A week later I got the news that Mark had been at Lake Havasu for Spring Break and that there had been a terrible boat accident.
Mark was missing.
Stay tuned for Part II …
